Penn State Main Campus has roughly 42,000 students enrolled. The campus is one of the largest in the country, complete with a football stadium able to hold 108,000 spectators, a daycare center, housing for 14,000 people, and a nuclear reactor. There are many a bus stop and bus lines going all over State College. It was after class that I was standing in the hot sun rocking out to my iPod in my own little world. Within minutes out of the corner of my eye I spy a Palestinian. Not just any Palestinian, it was my old roommate Jalal. The grease in his hair reflecting the sun so intensely that the polarity of my sunglasses was rendered ineffective. Wearing a stupid bright blue shirt with the same clueless look on his face that I remember all too clearly.

“Of all the fucking places on campus, of all the possible times and bus stops he must be at this one at this moment with me.” But there is a lot of space at the bus stop, so I just had my head fixed toward the opposite way waiting for the Blue Loop to come by and whisk me off to the stadium parking lot. Sure enough, to my delight, the bus comes a few minutes later. I am fairly sure that he now lives in the apartment complex directly beside Nittany Crossing, he Jalal would be looking for a V or NV express to take, not a Blue Loop. I confidently stepped onto the bus making sure not to look to my right. I made my way to the back, there were no seats available so I grabbed hold of the handle and turned around to see a blue shirt directly in front of me. Not only did Jalal get on the same bus but he had to get on just behind me when 20 other people were getting on. In my continuing attempt to avoid contact with him I made sure to look out the window of the bus the whole time, keeping my iPod and sunglasses on. Every little braking of the bus caused him to slide back and hit my arm with his huge fucking bookbag no doubt crammed with organic chemistry books and gay porn.

“Maybe he will get off at a stop before the stadium.” No, he stayed right there until we hit a stop at on campus housing. Half the bus emptied which made seats available. I sat down at the very corner of the bus because I was standing right beside the empty seat anyway. Jalal also takes a seat on the side, so I am facing directly towards him. In my panic I decided to keep my head turned at a 90 degree angle looking out the window. I could see his stupid fucking face out of the corner of my eye. He was looking around and I said “Oh God, please.” Sure enough he glanced at me and kept on looking, but turned around and looked at me for another second. He recognized me, I knew he did. I used my best poker face to just convey that I was interested at the pretty trees and buildings, masking my deep inner terror that he would talk to me.

We arrived at the stadium and of course he got off at the same time I did. I made sure to wait until he got off and a few feet from the bus before I made my move. As I got off the bus I opened my cell phone to act busy while the distance increased between us. I sent Sarah a text message about the ordeal. It didn’t stop there though, out of the probably 1,000 parking spots he was parking in the same row as I. I waited for about 2 minutes pretending to do something with my phone while he made his way past my car. Jalal still remains the oddest person I have ever known, even more so than Esteban, because I at least got along with Esteban, and even Eric, the person who sort of slept at my apartment for all of Fall last year. I’m still in awe at the odds of all of this happening today.

I also just wanted to say that every day I drive to the stadium parking lot and someone pulls out in front of me. Usually it isn’t very bad, I just have to tap on the brake and they speed up. Today right beside Burger King I watched this woman stare at me for about a good 5 seconds, and then fucking pull out in front of me. By pull out in front of me, I mean that had I not braked, I would have smashed right into her driver’s side door. I laid on my horn but she was too old to hear it, because after she blatantly pulled out in front of me she proceeded to go 25 in a 35 for about 1/2 mile before she TURNED onto an entrance ramp. Next time some stupid old woman pulls out in front of me I’m going to make her saggy, wrinkly, and discolored left arm part of her fucking driver’s side door.

One last thing to cap this off…I was watching Fox News after I got back from classes about 45 minutes ago and about 5 minutes into it the story of some old rich guy getting lost (which I couldn’t care less about) was interrupted to talk about what Whoopi Goldberg said on her first day on “The View”. She was defending Michael Vick and people apparently thought she had some steel balls to do that on her first day on the job on a national TV show. Here is my view on things. I agree with Whoopi, she said that the dog fighting had a cultural aspect to it. I do not know who Michael Vick is, nor do I care what awesome QB he is for some national football team. I’m sure vaginas just fall onto his dick because he can throw a football well, that’s usually how it goes. I’ve been watching the whole incident unfold, from the discovery of the dog fighting to his arraignment. The media has flipped shit about this, and in turn, the nation has also flipped shit, because whatever the media is telling us MUST be the most important issue of our society. People are calling for his being thrown in jail for life and how he should be tortured and blah blah blah.

Yes, Whoopi mentioned that dog fighting is a sport in the south, and while I can’t verify this because I’m not southern, I’m going to believe her because she said it on national TV and I don’t think she’s stupid enough to say that without having done research. I find it interesting how crazy people are about dogs in this country. Hell, Leona Helmsley left her dog 12 million dollars in her will, while leaving 2 of her grandchildren NOTHING. People need to realize that a dog is just an animal. Leave it to people in this country on their high horses to condemn a man for dog fighting while we all feast on the death of millions, yes, millions of turkeys during Thanksgiving. Not just turkeys on Thanksgiving, cows and chickens 365 days a year in the country are born, only to be fed until adulthood and then slaughtered so we can feast upon their flesh. I’m using the world flesh there because I think it’s a word that people wouldn’t like to use when talking about a steak or chicken fingers dinner. Yes, I’m a cat person, I love cats and dogs also but they are food in other countries. Why do we hold these 2 types of mammals above all others? CULTURE, that’s it and nothing more. So yes, Whoopi, rock on for having the balls to speak your mind in the face of America.

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